a little rush of adrenaline from the doctor to get my life ready for a newborn.

Hey all,
I hope your summer has been treating you wonderfully and that you're already super tan, which I am not because the heat really does a number on my body.  At 37 almost 38 weeks pregnant, I'm just thankful for air conditioning and for a husband who's not too cheap to let me use it on my days off  ;)  I just can't wait to enjoy sweet summertime with our little one when she arrives... which will apparently be a little sooner than we thought! At my last appointment (wednesday, june 20), I learned that I have progressed to 2.5 cm and 100% effaced and after I almost kicked the doctor in the face for a painful exam, she said the words. any day. And here we are, 5 days later, and the next thing I have to look forward to is an embarrassing water breaking experience at the grocery store. Or maybe not, but it certainly wouldn't surprise me. Honestly, the anticipation is so great. I love that just waiting around until baby C decides she's ready to make an appearance. :)

I'm one of those lucky ones who have had an easy breezy pregnancy almost the whole time, but I'd be lying if I told you I was feeling wonderful lately... in other words: Mama wants baby out. That said, tomorrow officially starts my maternity leave... I am placing a bet that baby will be born sometime this week.
I took at few instagram pics of the nursery to share with you! Oh, our other news is that we're renting a house for two years, and we're moving in September so I'm saving my very best attempt at nursery decorating for that glorious day, so here is the temporary one!

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my problems are small.

Shoot. I see that I haven't posted recently... I was blessed with a mini vacation over memorial day weekend, which I'll tell you more about later :) Other than that, I seemingly have been very busy getting ready for baby girl ... about 5 weeks to go! And after I found out that my mom almost had my youngest brother 6 weeks early, I decided it was time to sort through the "nursery" that was beginning to look more like a room that a tornado ran through. Therefore, clothes are all washed, separated by size, and put in drawers and all her other goodies finally have a place to call home. We were also blessed with an opportunity to go stroller shopping with my parents and came away with a nice jogger/travel system combo. How exciting!

In other news, here's a little something God has been teaching me:
My problems are small. Sometimes I think I have something going on that justifies me feeling sorry for myself. Other times I find myself spending my thoughts on day-to-day concerns that are unimportant and of this world, which is not my home. And then I come across someone who is going through something real, and I am convinced that those are times when God wants me to remember that my problems are small. I'm reading a book called Kisses from Katie about a girl who graduated high school and gave up everything she had in America to start a ministry in Uganda for children in need. As I read about how they suffer on a daily basis, but still live life genuinely joyful, I am struck by how good I have it. I am also reminded that as a child of God, I am called to give to those less fortunate than I, yet I still find ways to complain or wish things were different. Gross. I pray that as believers, we would all recognize the needs of those around us, and that we would remember to offer what we can to help.

And this concludes my ramblings for the night. Thanks for reading friends.

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dear baby.

Dear baby,

You're 32 weeks today! Once we got to 30 weeks, I felt like we turned a major corner towards the home stretch, which makes me excited and nervous at the same time. You're about 16.7 inches long now and you weigh roughly 3.75 pounds. You can now turn your head from side to side, and your arms, legs, and body at starting to fatten up :) You have your fingernails and toenails and (most likely) some hair! Or at least some respectable peach fuzz. Oh and p.s. you're a total gymnast. You move a lot - which is awesome - but thank you for not waking me up in the middle of the night. At least not yet...

Not long ago, some of my wonderful friends had a big party for you. We had some delicious food. And you got all kinds of good stuff that you'll love. And just in case your ever interested, we took some pictures for you.

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let's never do that again.

First things first. Thank you EVERYONE for the love and support. I can't say enough how grateful we are for everything. We've been blessed with groceries, flowers, cards, facebook comments and messages, text messages, phone calls, visitors, a crib for our baby, help with cleaning, prayer, a fruit bouquet, etc... This turned out to be more difficult that anticipated, and we couldn't do it without you and praise God that everything went okay.

On Friday morning, bright and early, Brenton and I got up at around 4:15 and made it to the hospital by 5:15 am. We checked in and he got prepped for surgery while I waited in the chair next to him. We were pretty quiet all morning, tired, and unsure of what to expect. At around 6:30, I gave him a kiss and held his hand before they took him away. About 5 minutes later, most of the family arrived and we waited in the ICU waiting room all morning. I have never had to wait for anyone to come out of surgery - and it was the longest 6 hours of my life. I brought a book and headphones but never touched them. I wanted to do nothing. I wasn't hungry or able to sleep. I talked some with the family, but I couldn't think of anything other than Brenton, my husband and my baby's daddy. I was told I would receive 3 phone calls while in the waiting room. One to tell me when he was on pump (the machine that runs his heart and lungs during the surgery), when he was off pump, and when they had him ready for family to see him. I spent a lot of time waiting for that phone to ring. Before I got the final phone call, his doctor came into the waiting room and asked for me. In the whole room full of people, he walked right up to me, the youngest, and most inexperienced one, and explained that they were unable to do the surgery as planned, after they discovered that the valve was not easy to repair. They were originally hoping to do the surgery minimally invasive, but they had to break his sternum to do open heart surgery, but everything went well. He turned and left the room. I cannot explain how I felt during that moment. The weight and responsibility of being his primary caregiver at 29 weeks pregnant after such a major surgery and an intense 12 week recovery after only 1 year and 5 months of marriage. I knew at that moment how badly I need my Lord and Savior for times like these, but at the same time, I felt peace and reassurance that everything would be okay regardless of how I felt emotionally.

Not long after that, we got a call saying that we could see him! Yay! Right??....No. I thought I was prepared to see him all hooked up to tubes and IVs and machines but I wasn't. I thought that because I have worked in the hospital and because I've seen many patients in the ICU, I would know what to expect. It hit me on a different level when that person became my husband - he looked nothing like himself. I just kept thinking, What did they do to you for the past 6 hours? I wish you weren't even moving your hand because then I know you're awake and I don't want you to feel anything. You don't even know that they ended up having to break open your sternum and you're going to be crushed when you find out. I left his room and cried. It took some courage for me to go back in there when he was more awake after a couple hours. My mom and I went back in and waited outside his room for a nurse to okay. Then Brenton gave a thumbs up :) I headed straight for my man and followed the instructions he gave me before surgery day. "Don't cry when you see me." His face was still very swollen and he was still really pale, but he WINKED at me and it completely made my day. I was with him for another few minutes, and then let him rest.

One of the hardest parts of the day, was leaving the hospital without him. Knowing that he was suffering without any friends or family left by his side and wondering what he was thinking about even though we all knew he would not remember that day. I stayed over at my parents, but went back to the ICU at around 7:30 to say goodnight. He kept saying it hurt, and he was really uncomfortable. I met the nurse who would be staying with him during the night, so I left feeling much better, looking forward to seeing him the next day when he got transferred to his room until Monday night.

All during Saturday and most of Sunday morning, he was still feeling pretty bad. Most of his discomfort came from the chest tubes. He had two in, and the first one came out on Sunday. The pain medication was also making him sick and he had no appetite, so he felt like throwing up for a lot of his time in the hospital. On Monday morning he got the second chest tube out, and then he started feeling a lot better.  He still couldn't get himself to eat, but at around 5:00 pm, they let me take him home :):):) During most of his stay, he wasn't feeling up to visitors, but we we've been blessed with visitors since Monday.

So now we've been home for just over a week. He's doing good walking, practicing taking deep breaths, taking medications regularly, and trying to continue his daily activities on his own (showering, brushing teeth, eating, etc...) His appetite is finally coming back (so now we're just trying to get his weight back to normal) and Cardiac Rehab started 3 times a week to gain strength back. There are lots of other appointments coming up to follow up with his doctors and he has to get his blood drawn daily to check his INR while on Coumadin. With all of this, plus baby appointments and childbirth education classes, our schedule is pretty full and we're soooo looking forward to normal life again!!!

Praise God that Brenton is better :) We've learned so much more about God during this time and it has strengthened our marriage. 

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surgery day.

Hey everyone!

Hope you are all having a great week. Just wanted to ask again for your prayers as Brenton is having his heart surgery today. We spent 4 hours at the hospital on Wednesday morning, meeting the people he will be working with. They all seem very confident that he will recover quickly and well so we are encouraged by that.  And thank you so much for showering us with prayers and kindness up to this point as we gear up for this big day. 
**In case you missed the post about his surgery, read more about it here!


So anyway, here he is up before the sun and ready to go...

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