birthday party.

We had a perfect day on Thursday as we celebrated Madeline's first year of life. So many family and friends came to spent over and we ate, chatted, played games outside, and carefully observed her as she neatly "smashed" her cake with her tiny hands and feet. It's a beautiful thing to see the people you love all together for a party.

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one year ago today.

One year ago today, I was sitting in the living room of our old apartment with the air conditioner blasting, anxiously waiting for our new baby to decide to finally make an appearance. Up to this point, I had been slowly progressing and on this day last year, I was feeling especially "crampy" all day. Brenton came home from work and we watched episode after episode of 24 until I finally made the call that we were going to the hospital at about 10:30pm. We were hesitant because although I couldn't exactly "time my contractions" I felt that we needed to get there. We drove almost the whole way in silence. I can't exactly remember what I was thinking, but I was surprisingly very calm (thank the LORD). We got there, they hooked me up to the monitor and said I was 100% effaced and 5 cm dilated. YAY for halfway and YAY for not being sent home! From there it's actually pretty straightforward. They set me up with an IV. A midwife came in a broke my water. A funny old guy came in a gave me a *perfect* epidural. For about 2-3 hours I laid there and then it was time to push! 30 minutes later, baby Madeline Noelle Colton was born at 2:42 am on July 4th and she was absolutely the most perfect little firecracker! Her birth weight was 7 pounds, 4 1/2 ounces, she was 19 inches long and she had a full head of red hair. Now she's all of 17 pounds and I have no idea how long... But I can't believe how much love Brenton and I have for our little angel. We thank God for our sweet blessing everyday. It is SUCH an honor to be a parent. The God of the Universe choose to use us to care for His child who he loves more than we do. Blows my mind! We try to be the best parents we can be, knowing that we will and have already made mistakes. Like my mom tells me, the best thing we can do for her is to love her. And I ask my mom and my work moms lots of questions because of course I need all the help I can get.

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She TOTALLY still makes this face!

This year, and every year for the rest of my life, July 4th will have a whole new meaning for me, but we are having a big party tomorrow and I don't have enough time to elaborate on the overwhelming mixed feeling that go along with this holiday. I am happy and sad at the same time. It doesn't even make sense so how am I supposed to elaborate on it anyway... Happy fourth of July everyone and thanks for reading!
**And thank you again, a whole year later, to one of my best friends, Lacey! She takes amazing pictures of new squishy babies. I still look at ours often**

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honest.

Today, I'm going to share a little something that I deal with on a regular basis; something that I am realizing more and more every day. I believe this quality about me is something God is trying to turn into another way to bring Him glory. I am an on the go person. I don't sit still often and I am constantly looking for the next thing to look forward to, anything new, anything exciting and busy, wherever I can find people, a new hobby or band, or vacation etc... and I don't want to do any of it without my husband or my daughter. I am often daydreaming about where I see us down the road, setting goals, and trying to make the absolute most of every day on earth.

I am learning that there is a good and a bad side to this quality. The good is that I am intentional, relational, and many of my priorities line up with how I believe God wants to use me and whatever my gifts are for his glory. I am spontaneous, free-spirited, laid back, and easily excited about life and all it has to offer.

Here's the bad. I notice that I get bored easily and can be dependent on excitement/newness. Routine scares me, commitment scares me, the idea of being stuck in a rut is my worst nightmare. I have found myself upset with my husband when he "gets in the way" of my dreams, even if he is simply suggesting another option, way before any of it would even be a possibility for us. I'll spend time on pinterest finding more recipes, more projects, more crochet stitches to try, more jewelry that I love, another book I want to read, a new workout playlist, etc.. And before long I am go go go again.

I totally believe that God made me this way, but that He desires for me to set my priorities according to His will. He wants me to respect my husband by considering his future plans/dreams too, and sometimes it might replace one of mine, even though it doesn't sound appealing the first time. I believe God wants me to sit still and spend more time digging deeper into the word and in prayer because ultimately He wants me to know Him so I can be more like Him. I may think I can represent Christ on my own, but I am nothing without Him and for goodness sake, I have a daughter I'm trying to raise! I will and have already made mistakes, but if I do nothing else, I want to be able to get to heaven one day, knowing that I did my very best to serve and respect the husband God gave me. I want to be sure that I did my very best to raise our children to be like Christ. Those are real accomplishments. I can't imagine He will be impressed with how many recipes I have mastered, the number of headbands I have made for my daughter, or how perfectly decorated my house is.

Each of us has the same number of hours in a day. How we use that time says a lot about who we are and what we value most. My prayer, is that I will be a woman who gives that precious time to God, trusting that He will fulfill my "needs" for all things exciting/new. After all, I could never have dreamed up what God has allowed me to experience in the first 25 years of my life.
Besides, to live is Christ, to die is gain. Can I get an Amen?! ;)

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run.

For anyone who cares, as far as I am concerned "runners high" doesn't exist and I swallowed more bugs than I care to admit last night.

Sorry if this is TMI but I am almost done breast feeding and I promised myself that I would at least attempt to get into running when that season of life ends. Last night was my first run. I would consider myself to be pretty active and it is very important to me, but as a working mom, one thing I'm not willing to give up is time with my family. So I have to find a way to fit it in without disrupting that quality time. So far, I've done at home videos (Jillian Michaels) during Maddie's naps on my days off or at night when Brenton has any work to do. We've also been getting into family bike rides this summer. I do miss being able to go anytime I feel like it, but I am learning to find ways to fit it in the schedule. I know what you're thinking. Get a jogging stroller. Been there, done that and I am not jogging with any stroller. That is way harder and I am having enough trouble running ALONE.

Anyway, the first chance I got to run last night was at 9 pm. I have to say, it wasn't pretty (especially the part when I nearly ran right right a low branch with my face) but it was beautiful out and night time runs might end up being a favorite. If I can get past the side aches and gasping for air. Any advice is gladly welcome as I reintroduce this humbling activity into my schedule with bittersweet feelings.

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almost one.

We're about 2 weeks away from the little one's first birthday. When they say, "it goes by so fast", they're not kidding. I plan to do a highlights from the first year post eventually, but for now, let's talk about how to plan a first birthday party for your child while wondering how you even managed to keep one alive for a whole year!
First things first.
For kids, many people have a themed party, and usually it's something that they're really into. Back in February, Maddie was invited to her first birthday party for her friend, Gavin. He had a super cute Tigger party complete with party hats, and orange and black striped balloons. He's pretty cute by the way :) Maybe we'll work on setting them up at some point!!

For us, the theme came easily. She was born on the Fourth of July, so we  knew right away that we wanted to go with red, white, and blue. However, as I've been collecting things and "pinteresting" I have been trying to stay away from too much of the flag stuff since I want it to look more like a birthday party.

Next, I designed her invitations. We had a pretty big guest list with family and friends, so I only did official invitations for her grandparents, great grandparents, aunts and uncles. Inspired by this invite, and with some help from my friend, Carolyn, this is what we came up with. I got the pack of paper from Hobby Lobby and there is enough for me to use for her scrapbook pages afterwards. The words and the "fireworks" are actually Carolyn's stamps that I borrowed.

After the invites were mailed and the e-mails were sent, we started collecting everyone's RSVPs to see about how many people were coming so we could plan for food, number of tables and chairs, etc... And now for the fun stuff! The table decorations, cake, pictures, menu, and outfit!

I felt strongly that a little girl should wear a dress for her first birthday party. My mom apparently felt the same way, since she found this pretty little dress for her to wear. It's navy blue and white striped with a little bow in the front. It's just a little big on her but it will work pretty good! And it has just the right amount of poof. In order to add some red accents, I found these perfect red flowers to make into a headband for the party too! We'll see how it turns out, but they are just the right size. Now we just have to pretend that she'll actually keep in on her head all day...

                     

You'll soon discover, that my mom is a big contributor to this party. She found these little white lanterns at IKEA a couple months ago. They should be a perfect addition to the tables for a little centerpiece. On the subject of centerpieces, Brenton and I stopped at a thrift store this weekend and I found a nice collection of cheap mason jars for flowers or candy or mints or something yet to be determined, but they were cute! I got two sizes.

                               

For tablecloths, paper plates, confetti, forks, spoons etc.. We just visited the dollar tree. It seems like all these details add up fast, so that seemed like the place to go to. Everything we got from there should be just fine, but we did get these fun red/white striped napkins (again from Mom) for the party. :)

                              

For the cake! My wonderfully talented friend Beth has kindly agreed to help me with this pinterest inspired cake + sparklers! She and her husband won't be able to make the party, but she kindly agreed to assist me the night before. We're thinking something like red/blue velvet with a cream cheese frosting! And I'm telling you right now. With Beth's help, not only will this cake look good, but it will taste good... Pressure's on Beth! :)
 As for the rest of the menu, we decided to try to make things pretty simple. I have asked a few guests to bring some side items and I'll do some kind of crock pot chicken that is TBD.

I'm still trying to figure out exactly how we'll display pictures. If you follow me on Instagram, you know that about 90% of  my picture are Madeline : / Awhile back I found this site where you can order your prints. I did place an order for the 4 x 4 squares and was really impressed with how they turned out. It's a little pricey, but I think the quality of the pictures is worth it! I'm thinking about doing something here and then looking for a fun way to display a few of them on the tables.

One other thing that I have to try to talk my husband into is some kind of fun outdoor lighting from World Market - which in my mind is a little piece of heaven on earth.

Stay tuned for pictures from the big day!

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I did it.

I made it! Sunday was my first "normal" day after a full 4 weeks of the clean program. At first, I thought it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I was buying groceries that I had never heard of. I forced myself to practice discipline when it was the last thing I wanted to do. There was one day when I had a box of Chocolate Chex cereal in hand and I was so close to pouring myself a big bowl, but I didn't and it was worth it! I promise, if you have considered doing a detox like this it gets easier! I have still been mostly eating the foods I have eaten for the past month including clean smoothies for breakfast and eating healthy meals for lunch and dinner. I'll admit though, its really great to have a little more freedom with meals while continuing to eat foods that are minimally processed.
Here are some of the benefits I've noticed since I started.
- I feel lighter and my clothes fit better
- I have plenty of energy
- Hunger comes on slowly and I haven't felt the: OMG if I don't eat something right now I might pass out thing. In other words, I can tell my blood sugars are stable. :)
-  I usually have allergies thing time of year... no sign of them so far!
- I like different foods that are much healthier and am more aware of food labels and what to avoid.
So that's that! Ask me if you have any questions about clean eating or the program! I've become a big fan and am happy to help with recipes and ideas!

I also wanted to mention - my family and I took a mini day trip to the Milwaukee zoo/Trader Joe's on Sunday. Unfortunately for the Fox Valley, the nearest Trader Joe's is like an hour and a half away. Ugh.
Anyway, I could have spent the whole day there. Sad, I know.
But here are some of the foods I got!

Pasta Ingredients: Organic brown rice and water; so gluten free!

For smoothies!

I tried this last night. It's delicious and I believe it would have been ok during the cleanse too.

Ingredients: Stone ground whole wheat flour, safflower oil, honey, baking powder, yeast, and sea salt.

I put this in a smoothie yesterday and today instead of my almond butter. Ingredients: Dry roasted peanuts and salt.

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getting started on clean eating.

I have (almost) successfully completed 1 full week of the elimination diet from the Clean program! During this week, I was able to have 3 solid meals and snacks, but could only eat foods from the "foods to include" list. It has definitely been challenging, but everyday is easier and easier. I must admit though, on Saturday, we went to a party and there was this cake that I may have had a tiny slice of. It was a smores cake made beautifully by my friend over at Beth's Blue Plate and I couldn't pass it up... Maybe she'll do a post about it sometime. (hint hint Beth!)

 If you are considering doing a cleanse like this (there are many out there), there are a few things you can/should do to prepare.
1. Pick a date and stick with it. Give yourself time to be prepared.
2. Read lots of recipes, pick ones that you think you would like (pinterest helps - look at clean eating boards). Be a little adventurous but don't force yourself to eat things you hate or you won't last long.
3. Go grocery shopping for the ingredients you need. You may want to go to a few different stores - some have a better selection/prices than others. Be prepared for a slightly higher than normal grocery bill. (But we justify it since we wont' be eating out at all during this time.)
4. Get a good blender. After the Elimination week, you have 3 weeks of two liquid meals and one solid meal every day. You'll be using it a lot. The top of the line is the Vitamix. My parents have one and they love it, but we got a Ninja which was more affordable and still great. I love that it comes with two to-go mugs. You can blend your shake right in the mug, switch the cover, and go!

5. In the book he recommends eating organic food as much as possible. But for us, it was just way to expensive to do that. Just do you best - you'll still have great results.
 I have been doing liquid meals for breakfast and dinner and a solid meal for lunch since Sunday. So far, I can tell I am full faster than I used to be and don't need to eat as often. I haven't noticed any spikes in my blood sugar (hunger comes on slowly), I have lost 4 1/2 pounds, and I still have plenty of energy!
Even though there are many good recipes out there, most of what I've eaten is my own creation.
Here's today's lunch:

Brown rice, black beans (no added salt), chicken breast cooked in olive oil, taco seasoning,
homemade creamy avocado dressing, and cilantro

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a new discovery.

Here we are, on day 4 of clean eating. I miss chocolate. I have been trying to come up with some way to get it while still obeying the "foods to include list" Unsweetened cocoa powder is acceptable, and so is raw chocolate (no dairy, no sugar). We discovered a fun little natural foods store in Neenah called The Red Radish. But they were sold out of raw chocolate. I don't even know what it tastes like, but I know I want it.
I managed to come up with a delicious shake, but it involves one cheat... Bananas. (I figured if I'm going to eat something I'm not supposed to, a banana is probably not the worst choice. Right??)
So here you have it:
1/2 cup of organic rice milk
4-5 ice cubes
1 banana
3 spoons of almond butter
2 tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa powder
Stevia, to taste

i have a feeling that almond butter and I are going to be spending a lot more time together. I had never had it before! I mean, its no peanut butter, but it works! Unfortunately, I could only find one kind and its about 3 times more expensive than a jar of peanut butter and half the size...
Good thing this is only for 3 weeks, right Brenton? ;)

Unfortunately I have no before, during, or after pictures. I drank it pretty fast I guess.

In other news, this is what a really good daddy looks like:

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clean eating.

Does anyone else feel like it's hard to figure out what to eat these days? One article says, it's good for you, another one says it's not, blah blah blah. Back in February, I came across a blog post done by a mama of three, who tried a 3 week detox program. After much reading and recipe hunting (and doubting), I finally decided to try clean eating. It seems the most logical to me so I bought the book Clean by Dr. Alejandro Junger. I have read most of it, and I must say, even though he has some great pointers, I can't say I recommend the whole book (Organic clothes? Really? I'm sorry, not in this house...) But, he focuses primarily on what we eat, and here's the basic principal of the program: We need to get our bodies out of our current toxic state. Because of the way food is made now, we have built up toxins in our bodies that are linked to the poor health conditions in our country. If we give our bodies time to recover but omitting these things from our diet for 21 days, we can have a fresh start and will, apparently, feel younger, more energetic, and overall "clean". One thing he has said, that has stuck with me, is that A person who is in a toxic state craves toxic things, and vice versa...
Now, for me, this is mostly just an experiment. Something to work towards, another way to practice discipline, a challenge, etc... And hopefully I can swap some of my eating habits for better ones. But for some people, this program could seemingly be life changing! There were many shocking testimonials throughout the book!

I'm on day three. And I have already considered quitting. What was I thinking. Why am I doing this.
No dairy, no caffeine, no chocolate, no refined sugar or flour, no bread, no gluten, no eggs, no red meat, no potatoes, no tap water, no soy, no peanut butter/peanuts. Ouch.
So that leaves.... fruits and vegetables, herb tea, purified/distilled water, nuts and flax seed, chicken, fish, quinoa, brown rice, olive oil and spices, etc...
At first, I thought, so that leaves stir fry, salad without dressing, and fruits and vegetables. Hmph.
However, I have been quite impressed with Pinterest and some of you bloggers out there! This concept of clean eating has become so big, and it's not hard at all to find a variety of creative recipes using just a few ingredients! Again, I'm only on day three, so there's much more experimenting to be done, but I'll continue to document and am happy to share what I'm learn along the way. 
{forgive me if i quit and leave you hangin'}

This morning's breakfast: Quinoa, cinnamon, stevia (a natural sugar substitute), slivered almonds, and blueberries.

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what kind of couple will you be?

Lately, I have been spending some extra time making sure I have my priorities in order. I started noticing that I became, naturally, drawn to baby everything. And it's great to love your babies, but God has used many other lovelies in my life to encourage me as I sought to find balance again. By God's grace I am finally feeling settled. There is nothing better than being intentional with your time, realizing that the only reason you woke up this morning is because GOD gave you another day. At least for now, I have learned to set aside specific times for Brenton and for Madeline, for friends and family, and for my own hobbies, interests, exercise, etc...  I am certain there are ups and downs from here on out, but right now, I can only see ups and for that, I am thankful.

A conversation Brenton and I have been having a lot lately is as follows, "What kind of couple will we be?" I share this with you, because it has been really neat for our marriage to dream up all kinds of things we want for our future. We've talked about dream jobs, possibly going into the missions field for a short time, having more kids, vacations, hobbies that we can't afford now but hopefully some day, short term and long term goals, etc.. Some things serious, some things lighthearted. We've also talked about coming up with a family mission statement. Something we as a family are working towards or striving to be. And when we decide on what that will be, I will find some sort of Pinterest craft to make it into and it will be hung/painted/written somewhere in our home.

So couples, this one's for you. Take your best friend, go out for coffee/tea/hot chocolate or whatever, and talk about what kind of couple you will be!

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family dates.

People often ask if we even remember what we used to do before we had Madeline. To be honest, I often have to think about it at first (she is 8 months old already!! What the heck!?). But before long I remember going out for half off apps at Applebees after 10pm, hanging out with our college friends, late night shopping trips, discing, bike rides, staying up late to watch every single episode of The Office, going on our cruise and to Disney World etc... Even though we weren't married for very long before baby C decided to come along for the ride, we have so many great memories as newlyweds.
So today, I'm here to say that it doesn't have to end just because a new member joins the family! Brenton and I both love people and more often than not, would rather be out doing something, so we have learned how to enjoy life WITH a baby, car seat, diaper bag, pack n play, etc... Haha - It sounds way worse than it is. The worst part, for me, is the planning ahead part. But it CAN be done! I call these family dates. Just yesterday for example, after getting all packed up, we went out for frozen yogurt at Cherry Berry and stopped at Kohls (where I found myself  drowning in a bazillion racks labeled 80%. off..... not a good place to be....)
 **I am quite positive that things will change as our family grows, but for now, we love our family dates. :)

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